Coping with Betrayal
“Since I found out about my spouse’s affair, I can’t stop thinking about it. I keep picturing my spouse with the other person. I wonder what was different; what was seen in that person that is lacking in me? I just can’t put it out of my mind. How can I possibly forgive and start fresh in our relationship if I can’t forget?” These are the thoughts of any man or woman who has just learned of his or her spouse’s betrayal.
If you have experienced this personally or supported a friend who learned of spousal betrayal, you know of the pain it leaves. Feelings of self-doubt, anger, resentment, helplessness. roil through your being. You find yourself bombarded with nagging thoughts that wont stop. But people can get through this struggle and have a restored relationship if they learn to take charge of their thoughts about the offense and the offender and get on with life.
If the offended spouse does not find relief and a basis to begin trust anew, divorce becomes the usual solution to stop the suffering of betrayal.
Our Creator experienced betrayal by humanity, His creation, time and again since creation began. As an all-knowing God, He does not have memory failures nor relies on denial to bury the reality of what happened. How then does Creator God deal with the constant flood of betrayal memories? These are not simply from betrayal that lasted weeks, months, or years. Rather betrayal of Him by humanity came over generations, centuries, and millennia. Our Creator does not take the human option of divorcing Himself from humanity to end the constant reminder of our sin.
The Creator whose character is love is intentional in dealing with human betrayal. The following list of verses demonstrates the Creator’s means by which He continues to move toward reconciliation of sinful humanity. These verses provoke a sense of Awe for who our Creator really is in His Being. The extent to which He goes to reconcile the betraying sinner to Himself is evident as expressed through human authors of Scripture.
- Psalm 51:9 (NIV) Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.
- Psalm 103:12 (NLT) He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.
- Isaiah 1:18 (NLT) “Come now, let’s settle this,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.”
- Isaiah 38:17 (NIV) In your love you kept me from the pit of destruction; you have put all my sins behind your back.
- Isaiah 44:22 (NLT) “I have swept away your sins like a cloud. I have scattered your offenses like the morning mist. Oh, return to me, for I have paid the price to set you free.”
- Isaiah 55:7 (NIV) Let the wicked forsake their ways and the unrighteous their thoughts. Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them, and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
- Micah 7:19 (NLT) Once again you will have compassion on us. You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!
- 2 Corinthians 5:21 (NLT) For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.
- Jeremiah 31:34 (NIV) “They will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest,” declares the Lord. “For I will forgive their wickedness
and will remember their sins no more.”
We human beings make our gods to have our human traits. Those gods are seen as bitter and vengeful, as wanting to exact their pound of flesh to assumedly make things equal and just again. Jehovah, Creator God, does not seek revenge, though vengence is His right. His love seeks to embrace the offender, giving grace as an unearned and undeserved gift. Jehovah, the Creator God does not emulate humanity. Rather His intent was to endow humanity with His image. It is His desire that we learn and express love through the gift of His Son.
Experiencing Amazing Love!
Notice in all the verses that the Creator’s action seeks to comfort the offender by the assurance that his or her sin is cleansed. Every action taken is to assure the offender, the sinner, that he can look upon himself and know the Creator does not become repulsed. It is for our sake He uses those descriptions with how He treats our sin. How can I find what is as far as the East from West, in the depths of the deepest ocean, behind His back, blotted out of sight by a cloud, or trampled under foot and ground into the dust?
Think of this image–though snow or wool is stained crimson red twice over, He restores it to pure white once again. Who else but our Creator has the ability to restore something to its original state. Through God’s love demonstrated in giving His Son, Jesus Christ to bear our sin and guilt for us, we can begin to see the Creator’s forgiveness and acceptance that is waiting for us to claim. By accepting this gift He has provided, we are restored to right standing with Him.
Jeremiah 31:34 is the primary verse that explains why God does not have memory flooding. It shows He makes a conscious choice that demonstrates His intentional love. Creator God says to me, “Your sin, Lowell, I will remember no more!” Notice! God does not say He forgets what I have done. The Creator intentionally purposes to not allow my sin or yours, that which is so characteristic of our repulsive nature, to enter His thoughts and to love us anyhow!
Action Step for You to Take Today:
Accept the wonderful reality that your Creator, from before the foundations of the universe were laid, had the plan to restore you to Him. Take time to meditate on His plan and praise Him for that. Let the Awe of that truth begin each day in your heart and mind. Praise and thank Him for all He has done for you. Contemplate how you can show your Creator’s Amazing Love to others that they may join you and me in a state of Awe and a personal relationship with Him.
Please like this, write a comment, or share it with a friend. Thank you.