Loving Your Wife as Christ Loved the Church
Husbands, this post is a challenge to you. I am sure that you have shared my experience. My darling wife is known for the joy she exudes. Others often comment on that Core trait of hers. I cherish that quality in her because her light-hearted presence brings me joy. Yes, she can even cause me to smile and feel happy.
However, when she becomes anxious about finances, I tend to react as if her expressed concerns are accusations. I get defensive, thinking she is expecting sometime of me that I cannot fulfill at that moment. In my head, I am thinking that I am supposed to do something that will fix the problem so she can feel secure again.
The Three Sentence Prayer
Terry and I have been married 51 years this June, 2018. After all that time you would think I understood her and her struggles better than I do. But, noooo… Only in this past two years have I begun to comprehend the anguish she has carried over the years. While I was employed, there was a paycheck. But with retirement, the constraints of a fixed income made me ever more conscious of her security needs. I don’t like to feel helpless as a husband. So the typical male attitude was for me to try to “fix it.”
That was not what Terry needed. She needed me to be with her at those times. To listen, to stay focused, and to validate her. It was in these past two years since our move to Texas that I learned in a big way for myself the importance and effectiveness of “The Three Sentence Prayer.” Since realizing this, I share this with other men, daring them to do it. Not “try it,” but to really do it!
The three sentences are simple words that any husband can say to his struggling wife. To say them requires you to get over yourself and consider your wife’s pain. You don’t have to use all kinds of emotional language, which for some men who are skilled in analytical thinking and problem-solving can cause brain freeze. The action and words spoken as follows will produce amazing results for you. Here are the three sentences in this simple prayer.
- Bring your wife into the Creator’s presence and speak her concern–“Lord, right now I am bring Terry, my precious wife and her concerns about finances before you.”
- Be strong and admit your helplessness to fix the problem without your Creator’s help and guidance–“You as my Creator knows my limitations and without You I cannot find answers or direction that will help us.”
- Claim the Creator’s promised presence for your wife that she might have peace at this time–“May Terry truly sense your comforting presence and peace through our search for ways to handle these concerns. We thank for Your promise to provide for our needs. Amen.”
The reason for the power in the Three Sentence Prayer is that your wife knows that you hear her concerns, you are not dismissing or minimizing her concerns, you are not in a “fixing” mindset, and most of important of all she will not feel alone in her struggles. She hears you acknowledging that you as a couple are working together with your Creator’s comforting peace and guiding presence.
Husbands — Man Up! Give your precious wife, God’s gift in your life, a fresh sense of a renewed relationship between you and her. This is truly what “loving her as Christ loves the Church means.”
Do the Three Sentence Prayer when you feel on the spot about anything.
I dare you to
try do this. You will be amazed. You don’t have learn all kinds of emotional language to show her that you care. This prayer will say so much more because you will be acting from your Core being, acknowledging her, and showing her that you have heard her concerns.
Write me back and let me know how this works in your circumstances. I value your feedback.