The Relational Selves Do Jobs
We have discussed the Core identity as the person you really are in your being, or in your existence. The Relational identities are the roles we play in our daily interactions with others. Our Relational identities are what others see us doing and define us by those actions. Having Relational identities is not wrong or bad. It is the way the human mind works. The problem arises when we allow the Relational identity to define who we are.
Our Creator designed us in His image. He is manifested in two ways–by His existence which is His Core being and by His interactions with humanity which is His relational identity. You and I manifest the same features as our Creator who made us like Him. Our Creator’s desire first and foremost is to be known to us in His extant Being. We discussed those traits of His Core identity as goodness, loving-kindness, gracious, patient, etc. To often humanity defines the Creator by circumstances or expressed feelings of what happened.
the Creator was known by His interactions with humanity. Remember the different names by which He was known?
- Jehovah Jireh–The God who provides our food and water
- Jehovah Nissi–The Lord is our Banner because He fights for us
- Jehovah Shalom–The Lord who gives us peace
- Jehovah Rapha–The Lord who heals us
King David as Our Example
In his Core being, David is known from Scripture as a person of integrity, faith, and obedience. He wrote in Psalm 139 the truth of his Creator being intimately involved with him in his Core being. He lauded his Creator for attending to watching as he was physically formed. He saw his Creator as someone intimately involved with him throughout his life.
Did also is known for his Relational identities.
- Shepherd–At a young age, he herded his father’s sheep because his brothers were soldiers in Israel’s army under the leadership of King Saul.
- Musician and lyricist–He wrote some of his psalms while tending the flock. That ability was expressed throughout his life. His lyrics reflected his amazement at the beauty of the Creator’s handiwork.
- Anointed king–At a young age, Samuel the prophet under God’s direction anointed David to be the king that succeeded Saul. He lived a long time before that Relational identity was enthroned..
- Hunter–David knew how o protect the flock if there were predators around. He killed both a bear and a lion to protect his father’s sheep and thereby preserve the family welfare.
- Music Therapist–When King Saul turned from following God, he developed seizures. David was brought to the palace to sing for the troubled king and quiet him.
- Armor bearer–In Saul’s attachment to David, he gave David the responsibility for his armor. The armor was tended to so that when worn , it reflected the King’s dignity and power to his troops for courage and to his enemies of their defeat.
- Warrior–David had been sent home during the war with the Philistines. Bringing supplies from home, David witnesses the circumstances of the war. When Goliath wants Israel David volunteers to join the battle as Israel’s champion in the power of God and wins the victory.
- Homeless–When King Saul heard the people singing, praising David for being victory 10 times more victorious than the king, Saul threw a javelin to kill David. David left with his troop of 600 men and their families and lived in caves for safety. They had no where safe to dwell.
These Relational identities were the identities that David in his Core being relied on to express his Core desires at different times in his life. Some were expressions of creativity, some were active expressions of faith, and some were there for David in times of mere survival.
Each Relational identity was one of the supporting cast members of David’s Core being, providing David as the Star, the resources he needed to live out his personal narrative.
What different supporting roles do your Relational selves fill in support of your Core identity? Do they come alongside your Core or do they usurp your Core identity and become how others see and define your identity? Coe integrity means that the Relational selves enhance you; they do not define you. List them for when we continue to expand on these thoughts.
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